Tomorrow is a new decade, a new decade! How mad is that?

I started this decade married, just. I have moved five times, fallen in love, had a baby, bought a house, even got a proper job.

I’ve skinny dipped in the Caribbean, danced, sung, cried and laughed, lived in Ireland and travelled all over the world.

And I’ve lost me!

Yup. I used to be spontaneous, adventurous and naughty. The last few years I’ve allowed the everyday to take over and lost the one part of me I loved the most.

I’m sarcastic, sometimes funny, smart and utterly irritating that’s who I am and in an attempt to be ‘happy’ I stopped being myself.

Drunken walks through strange cities, conversations with strangers, sailing, driving too fast and weekends away eating and drinking too much.

An old friend got in touch today completely out of the blue, I mean someone who I haven’t spoken to in 7 years. Someone who I used to do daft stuff with, get in trouble with hell we discovered the blackberry cocktail at the Charlotte Street Hotel together.

As we were talking I started to hear myself smile. I don’t want to go backwards I have a son I love and wouldn’t change that for the world but I am also completely bored of myself I mean seriously where did all the shades of grey go!!!

So in a single phone call and someone treating me like that funny naughty person I feel something in my heart spark, butterflies and a feeling I’m ready for a new adventure. I’m not stepping back I’m being invited forward.

Williams Daddy is going to be living closer so we can co parent him more and suddenly the new year feels full of potential because the only person stopping me, was me.

So plans are being made! Goa is on the list,weekends away, getting back to running. And that’s just the start.

The nudge I needed just came out of nowhere a voice from the past inviting me to a brighter future.

I believe in fate and karma and all that stuff so I’m grabbing this little sign and running with it.

This coming year I can be a great mum and I can be me again. I just needed someone to believe in that person still being there inside me.

You know who you are and you found me through this blog so I’ll see you soon. Cocktails in town and who knows what.

Thank you fate and happy new year muddlers.